Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Question #4: Too Many Changes?

I would deeply appreciate an answer to a question that has plagued me for most of my life and still does because it has happened again. Why do i feel the need for so much change in my life? No sooner do i get settled somewhere, make my home look great, get to know folks, enjoy the area and then i feel the need to move on to somewhere else. (Needless to say this pattern also caused a lot of different jobs, not necessarily in the same field). Sometimes this has taken place in the same locale but other times i moved from one state to another. This is the case now. I feel the urgent need to sell our beautiful home, leave all my volunteer work and move back to my home state, live with my daughter and her husband until my husband and i can accumulate enough money to pay cash for a small house in that area to use until we die (which i feel is in the near future). Is it possible to know about one's own demise or that of a loved one? Would like your enlightment on these two subjects and so would my husband. He thinks i have a severe problem with stability and wants to know what to do to help me correct it. Thanks for your time and may you be continually blessed with your gifts and those things you desire.


I did check out your birth chart to get an idea of some of the patterns going on in your life.
I also used my intuition to feel out what issues may be at play here.

You have a very unusual grouping of planets in Gemini. Five planets altogether. This is a lot for one sign and indicates that you have a lot of lessons to learn from this energy.
Gemini is an air sign, which indicates a lot of mental activity. You like to talk and socialize, travel, and daydream. People with a lot of Gemini predominant in their charts tend to have issues with "staying the course", and "being grounded". With five planets lined up there, it would unnatural for you to want to stay in any one place for a length of time.

Also, you have Mars in Leo, which makes you bold and aggressive at times. You are convinced of your inner logic, when it shows itself. This is a strong energy which is hard to resist, especially when it urges you towards picking up stakes and moving on.

Without your exact birth time, it is difficult to be certain of where your moon is, but it most likely is in Taurus. This would give you a feeling of inner, and outer, conflict, with your restless nature. The moon is your emotions and Taurus is an earth sign. It wants to stay put and enjoy home and family. In fact, it rarely wants to leave the house.
So what you have is a deep disparity between your heart and your head. You may project this disparity onto your relationship with your husband. However, the conflict is actually within yourself.

As I scan some of your past life patterns, what I find are patterns of being "jailed" or "trapped" in circumstances beyond your control, usually at the hands of men.
Frequently, in other incarnations, you were victimized or martyred to relationships, and duties.
I see you as a servant/nun in a hermitage, where the monks are cared for by obedient and chaste women. You detested this existence, but were sent there by your father, and were not permitted to leave.
I see you in the cargo hold of a slaveship, a young teenage girl, dying of dysentery.
I see you in the time of Christ, a follower and believer, a healer, working with lepers, and becoming one yourself. Your friends turned on you and abandoned you, afraid of becoming lepers themselves. You were not allowed to leave the colony.
I see you as a harsh plantation owner in the deep South, keeping a tight rein on your "property", which meant everything to you.
I see you as a Jamaican Queen, leader of your people, organizing women to help them empower themselves. You were driven from your village when you became "too powerful."

Over and over again, your life path was determined by others.
Therefore, in this lifetime, you are driven to "call the shots." This is what makes you feel safe.

What I feel is your deepest to accept your weaknesses and vulnerabilities. And love yourself for them. Let others care for you, get close to you, and support you. Just for who you are, not for what you do.

The constant moving is a means of feeling in control, but also, just a part of who you are.

All these lives, and others, accumulate.......and with them, the karma that you must work out.

The good news is, most of it has been alleviated.

You, like many other lightworkers, designed a lifetime in which you could meet many of those with whom you had karmic entanglements and agreements. The idea was to balance these relationships and to sow seeds of forgiveness and healing.
In order for you to accomplish this, you had a lot of moving around to do. Many lessons to work out...many people to become re-acquainted with, as you are/were determined to progess as much as possible in this incarnation.

You may never be completely content here on earth. We form obligations to others here and must be willing to keep them. Your wanderlust is a part of your spirit and must be honored also. It has it's place, but cannot be allowed to run your life.

You have a marriage to maintain and I believe that you value it.
You must take into consideration your husband's need for stability.
It is not unreasonable for him to want to stay put at this stage in your lives.
Go deep within, and ask yourself the tough questions.
What will I really accomplish by moving?
How much does my marriage mean to me?

As for your second question, yes, I do believe sometimes we sense our own timetable here on earth.
I also believe, in your case, that your need to move is tied in with your fear of death.

Do a releasing ritual. If you don't know how, check out my website, there are one or two listed.
As for whether or not you should move at this time in your life, I don't know.
That really isn't the point, anyway.
This is coming up to allow you to clear the air with your husband, for you to move towards a better acceptance and understanding with each other.
This is a turning point in your marriage and a tremendous opportunity for healing.
I hope you will use it.

In love and service.

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