Three months ago I closed a store/cafe that I owned because I ran out of money to continue. The money situation, since then, has been tenuous, as has just about every other area of my life.
I seem to be either depressed, guilty, or angry at myself much of the time, although I feel that I'm moving up the emotional ladder somewhat to acceptance of "what is" and am working steadily on picking up the pieces and going on with my life.
At this juncture, I seem to spend far too much time in some kind of a neutral space - not happy or sad, just resigned. I've really been in this space for over a year (ever since I realized that the store was more or less doomed), and I can't seem to pull myself out.
Can you offer suggestions or help?
I am sorry about the loss of your business.
What I sense is that you have unfinished work over this.
It is time to do a releasing ritual.
First, sit down and turn off the phone, tv, and all distractions.
Write everything that you feel about the loss of your business. Not what you think, don't analyze it. Put your emotions about this experience down on paper.
Read it aloud to yourself, and cry if you feel....or yell..or whatever feels natural.
When you feel finished with that, it is time to let yourself off the hook.
You didn't fail. You had an experience at running a business. It was a valuable experience. It taught you a lot about yourself, your strengths, and your limitations.
Write down everything you learned about this. Congratulate yourself for having the courage to do it.
Take your papers that you journaled with and burn them. Watch them go up in smoke.
Take your time with this process. It may take few hours, a few days, or a week. Give yourself all the time that you need.
You have left an opening for wonderful things in your life.
When you let something go, you give yourself the opportunity to bring in something new.
What exactly, would you like that to be?
See it, in detail.
Every day, sit for a few minutes and focus on your new vision.
See yourself happy and moving forward.
The universe brings you more of what you are fascinated with.
Ask, and you shall receive.
Seek, and you shall find.
Knock, and it shall be opened.